Sharing is caring and being compassionate is a valuable boundaries trait that any human being can possess. They are irreplaceable qualities that outshine the personality of a certain person in a crowd. They are something that will always make you distinguished and people may forget about your name but they will not forget how much empathy and love you hold.
The constant pressure of being on the good list or maintaining your composure can easily blur the healthy fine line between your well-being and becoming a people pleaser. Once a person steps into the realm of making everyone around happy with their existence and their acts, then they may face a hard time in getting a room for their very own self!
Setting boundaries in this hectic life, where you are already coping with the workload and the ever-evolving tech world and the increasing load of responsibilities, people consider selfish. The common instances which may go you like Gosh! This is what I’ve been doing lately and you wouldn’t even realize that you are stepping on your boundaries just to feel validated.
It could be as little as sharing the password of your streaming platform. You found a way to Watch Disney Plus in Malaysia for yourself, which could be demanding because you managed to arrange a VPN for that as well. Now upon asking by a friend of yours, you find it hard to refuse and share your credentials.
These kinds of small acts came up and formed a flexible persona of yours that knows nothing about how to say No. There are certain kinds of boundaries that you need to acknowledge and start building a fence accordingly.
Emotive Boundaries
Emotive boundaries include all the sort of discreet information that you are not comfortable enough to share with everyone. But as you are habitual of saying yes to everything, when asked randomly about a certain thing, you absentmindedly begin to narrate everything that you are soon going to regret.
Therefore I learned to say I do not feel like discussing this particular thing, and know that this sentence is absolutely rightful to say and encompasses no elements of being selfish.
Material Boundaries
Material boundaries are quite vast in nature and are so easy to resonate with. This particular boundary needs to be stretched enough to know that it is completely fine and healthy to draw lines between certain stuff.
When we talk about material boundaries it may refer to money, space, and personal belongings. For instance, you don’t want people to enter your room with their shoes put on. Moreover, you don’t want to lend your outfits and accessories to anyone. Plus you may also not feel like lending some money but don’t have the nerve to say no.
Philosophic Boundaries
Then there are philosophical boundaries that are often the reason to trigger a dispute among people. You can even set boundaries in matters that involve your spiritual, religious, or political beliefs. By politely declining to share your thoughts where you believe your opinion is not welcomed or given the respect that it deserves.
Moreover, many times this happens that you feel hesitant to refuse to come to a particular event just because your spiritual ideology doesn’t allow you to do so.
Time Boundaries
Another line that we often fail to draw and consume ourselves in satisfying others through our time. Time is money, and we overlook this very fact. We tend to think that if we are not paying with our money or through our physical effort then we overcompensate with our time.
Which is quite unjust to yourselves. Because you could have utilized that very time for your own sake. Include it into a habit of yours to say no when you are asked to work extra time for the office if it is not contributing in any way to your well-being. Say no to everything that demands your time but in return do not provide you with anything that will make you feel as if you have done something productive.
Allot time for stuff that aids in boosting your mood and vitality rather than leaving you exhausted.
Say this instead of A Blatant No!
It is a natural phenomenon that when you ace some capabilities, you are always then bombarded with extra work and responsibilities. Which is not always a bad thing. More often you would feel the need to say no. But saying a direct no can make you sound outspoken. And why to do so when you can clearly make your statement a bit polite?
Firstly, when you set your boundaries, you must assertively communicate them. Secondly, when you are randomly asked to do a particular task. Then you may consider saying this instead.
“I’ll let you know about it”, “I’ll sleep on it”, “Can you please send the details so I may decide..”, I need to check.”
Wrapping Up
Doing more than we can offer is the reason for burnout and leads us to have a distorted and messy life and our constantly low energy mode. Moreover, take responsibility for your boundaries yourself, do not expect anyone else to come forth, and respect your set limits whereas you have no guts to claim it yourself.
